Nine lives for Jones?

Blogreaders may recall that we do like the earliest version of the U.S. rock band Aerosmith, although we truly despise one song of theirs... particularly after it has been played non-stop for a week.

After staring, mouths agape, at yet another miraculous escape for Team Canada’s Jennifer Jones yesterday – at the expense of the unfortunate spud Islanders – we reveal our curling interpretation of the VIP access pass to the 1997-98 Aerosmith “Nine Lives” Tour, above.

Following their successful 2007-08 tour, Team Canada’s 2008-09 tour of intimidating the opposition is once again in full gear, and the question remains: can anyone stop this team?

If they’re playing well, the answer is clear – no.

If they’re struggling, the answer still seems to be – no.

Will Saskatchewan – another team that wears green – be able to derail the train today?

Sweden loves R.E.M.

ÖRNSKÖLDSVIK, Sweden – Here we are, all prepared to write a blogpost on the music which organizers at the Swedbank Arena – home of the A-Division of the Le Gruyère European Curling Championships 2008 – have chosen to play for us every single day, over and over... and we suddenly hear the sound of recent (watered-down) Bon Jovi just as Scotland and Germany are finishing their semifinal warm-ups.

Whatever. Let us proceed anyway.

Readers will recall last year’s ECC in Fuessen, and the deliberate attempts to drive us crazy by playing one song in the anres over and over and over and over and over and over between all the games, day after day, over and over and over and over again.

This time, up until Bon Jovi a few minutes ago, all we heard here in northern Sweden was the famous 1992 album by R.E.M., Automatic For The People.

We thank the organizers for changing the music today. We should also say that we’re not as upset as we were a year ago, because in this case they are playing an entire CD, and not just one song, over and over and over and over and over. Again.

In conclusion:

1. The best R.E.M. album is a tie between Lifes Rich Pageant and their debut, Murmur, which has just been re-released (and with a rare 10 out of 10 ranking from PopMatters);

2. We did a blogpost mentioning (and pucturing) Jon Bon Jovi back in February, remember?

3. Here is last night’s report from ECC 08, and European viewers can watch Scotland versus Germany (men’s) right now, and Sweden versus Denmark in the women’s semi at 18:00 GMT via the Eurosport Player online web TV portal, with special discounted rates available for selected countries.

The championship finals are tomorrow!

Germans love Aerosmith

FÜSSEN – This, sadly, is the only conclusion we can come to.

How is it possible that the same song can be played over and over and over and over, at all times of the day and night, here at the Bundesleistungszentrum Arena?

It’s played after games, while the ice crew are doing their thing.

It’s played when the arena is utterly deserted, and the lights are dimmed.

It’s played during the pre-game warmups.

The song is, inexplicably, I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by geriatric U.S. rockers Aerosmith (lead singer Steven Tyler in photo), and you can watch it here. Please do, many times, so that you can share our writhing pain.

Look, Aerosmith rocked in their day but their 80s-onward, MTV-driven, pop-shlock, pseudo-revival has never really made the grade. The only thing we really miss about these guys is a young Alicia Silverstone prancing around in their other 80s-onward, MTV-driven, pop-shlock, pseudo-revival videos.

And now some guy out here in the middle of Bavaria can’t stop playing this song during the 2007 Le Gruyère European Curling Championships.

So here’s a photo, some words, and an entire blogpost dedicated to something that has absolutely nothing to do with curling. If this is what you want, dude, this is what you get, and suffering is what your folly brings upon the innocents. Because some of us – like those of us at The Curling News – spend a ridiculous amount of time in curling arenas during events, and such mind-boggling deejay behaviour creates frazzled content providers who are driven, quite simply, utterly stark-raving mad.

Don’t want to live any more
I don’t want to watch them curl
’Cause I’ve lost my mind
And I just want to kill that guy
’Cause even when I watch them curl
This stupid song haunts me still
I’ll still strangle you, dude
And I just want to kill that guy